They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
