scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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