his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
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How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
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If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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