Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
