He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
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