I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
