Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
