I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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