woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
