R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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