I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
