I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Come share oat with me in your robe
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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