just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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