i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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