We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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