you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
