Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
