thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
