You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
