he shaved USA in his pubs
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize