sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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