Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
