i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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