ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
