i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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