your room smells of hookers.
And success
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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