I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
