She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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