I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
