i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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