the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I supernannyed him into submission
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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