Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize