If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just want to make out with him forever
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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