Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
