There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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