with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
