Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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