Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
