Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
