I'm eating all of the evidence.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
