party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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