Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
COCAINE IS GR8
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
