What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
