My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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