Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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