I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
