Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
