I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."