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• (613): View more from Ontario

  had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off

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• (619): View more from California

  I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go

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• (631): View more from New York

  I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.

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• (409): View more from Texas

  Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"

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• (585): View more from New York

  So stoned i forgot i was in bed

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (315): View more from New York

  Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.

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