turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice