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• (425): View more from Washington

  Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.

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• (714): View more from California

  found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.

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• (716): View more from New York

  So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate

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• (408): View more from California

  I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing

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• (214): View more from Texas

  How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.

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• (585): View more from New York

  You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.

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