I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
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He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
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I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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