nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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