I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
