Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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