Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just puked most of my soul out..
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
