Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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