Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
