You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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