Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i think i just lost a toe
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize