so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
All I want is dick and wine.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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