grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
